im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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