how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
