Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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