Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
