i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
