I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
