Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
