bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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