do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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