You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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