benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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