Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
