Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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