Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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