4 words: hood of his car
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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