it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
