I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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