What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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