He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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