Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What did we do last night that was yellow?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
