i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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