I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
