just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
