so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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