Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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