I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
