we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
