He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We need to rekindle our bromance
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
