I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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