I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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