I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
