careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
