were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
