it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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