The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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