I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Randomize
