Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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