I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
