ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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