If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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