Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize