my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
