it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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