woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I touched a dick in church today
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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