Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so explain again why im purple
no
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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