I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
