You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
