It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
