we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
