He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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