We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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