Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
