hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
