just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
