How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
