I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize