adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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