Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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