I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
