it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
